Say it ain't so Sammy

I have come full circle with Sammy Sosa. Not quite full circle more like the end of the road. In 2001, I went to the Dominican Republic to study Spanish. My father bankrolled a summer immersion for me. He gave me the money and a date by which i had to submit my plan. After doing much research, I settled on the Dominican Republic because of three people: Vladimir Guerrero then a Montreal Expo, Sammy Sosa of the Chicago Cubs and Carlos Delgado of the Toronto Blue Jays(who is actually Puerto Rican). It fascinated me that blacks were of Latin descent, hmmm maybe i should word that differently. Better yet, blacks but Latin in culture, that's how i really see it. to see someone like your self who speaks only Spanish, in Guererro's case, was mind boggling. In the Western Hemisphere, I hadn't been exposed (consciously) to that and it sparked endless curiosity for me. So i focused on going to the DR to get closer to it. It was one of the best decisions of my life. Besides learning Spanish, it enriched culturally. I felt like I belonged, like a long lost cousin. I blended in, until I opened my mouth.

But being there, I saw that it was definitely different being black in Latin America. Athletes and entertainers were almost exclusively the only blacks, I saw on TV. Even darker skinned Dominicans were few and far between on the big screen. An outsider would think that all Dominicans were either pure blood Castillian or possibly a little mix of Spanish and the native islanders. this did not reflect of the vast spectrum of hues I saw everyday.

I was also fascinated by hair textures and whom they belonged to. it was almost as interesting as the array of skin colors. I saw the straightest hair on some of the darkest people, mail and female. and when i say straight, I don't mean a good perm, I mean almost "natural yaki" type hair that one usually does not expect from someone darker than a brown paper bag.

and as i spoke to people, there was more of a singular national identity that unified all of the colors. whereas they were teaching me that i was American( i guess i always knew that but hadn't fully realized it in my then 22 yrs of life). since i always considered myself black before American. Skin color is an obviously more divisive element in our culture compared to theirs. It divides us fundamentally in the US, not quite as much there.

then i looked at couples. rarely did i see two people of the same complexion, unless they were both of a lighter complexion. Now in some convos i was hipped to the racism that existed. i heard about the historical tension between Haitians and Dominicans, which in many way fuels the racism and colorism that exists today. In the 1800s, Haitains conquered and ruled the DR for over 20 years. Their independence day February 27, marks the independance from Haiti, not Spain. Since then being "black" is akin to being Haitian, which is not welcome at all. The irony is that Dominicans have their own history with slavery. so there are "native" blacks to the country.

Being black in the US is one thing. Being black and/or poor outside of the US, means that 95% of the time you will remain poor for generations. Higher education is for the higher classes, and the opportunities to ascend within social ranks like in the US maybe unprecedented throughout the world. With that revelation I felt that the "black burden" was larger and more stifling than our own.

So to my dismay, I saw both TCB (not the sheen, but the perming products in a large tub)and skin bleaching products on the same aisle. I never caught the eye of any darker skinned Dominican ladies, although they impressed me the most and learned that being dark with a dark skinned black man maybe socially undesirable to them. That really hurt. I do admit.

so when I see Sammy Sosa, it all comes back to me. Despite all the travesty that we endure here, things are much more progressive race wise. Elsewhere, the progressiveness is not there. We have the NAACP and Jessie and Permed out Al to fight for us on a grand stage. Even if you don't like them, they do maintain a presence for us that keeps some people in check. Even if we get "tokened," we get something. without any of that consciousness, a multi-millionaire black man in desperately poor nation may still not feel vindicated. he may bleach himself white, especially after he has been disgraced in the US by lying about his steroid use. Sosa was a national hero in his homeland. Those home runs, were not just stats and he was not just a player. He is/was the DR's most famous person and prime representative. Maybe being black and Dominican, Sammy feels like he doesn't get a second chance. When you aren't comfortable at home, then you are not comfortable. I feel very sad for him and any other diasporic black people who feel ashamed of their blackness.

maybe it was Soul Train, the Cosby Show, Different World, Shaft, Foxy Brown, Black History Month, or many of the countless images that make me proud of myself, people, color, features and heritage. Unfortunately, they many not have those images in bulk numbers like we do to spurn that same type pride.

i also read about the issue of "bad hair" in Latin America, maybe that will be part II.

Say it ain't so Sammy........I hope you find your "swagger" again. I hate the overuse of that word (swagger) but i am sure you know what i mean.

and if you had a Jheri curl in 1991, how can you go white in 2009. seriously, he had a mini Easy E with the White Sox/Rangers.