The neglectful blogger

I'm still here, kinda. i check the sight but the words stay within. i think the best of my wit, i maintain for real, meaning non-blog life. but i am not totally finished with this bloggin thing. so find me at fewredeemingqualities.tumblr.com

i shall see you there

Everest College

Irony

so i have been shaking my head at life, people, and situations for the last few weeks. although i have been non-blogging my mind has been consumed with many things, just a few a will share

its ironic how women treat you when you are in a relationship, its either instant repellent or an express one way trip to the lowest rung of the friend zone, or to the contrary a mixture of intrigue and magnetism.

its ironic, how i have to fight to not fall into all of the bad habits that i could easily stay far from. i even remember when i was somewhat judgemental some friends and their faults. its funny but i have a much better understanding of why and how

its ironic that i love being vague but hate when people are vague with me.

its ironic how the chick i tried to date a few years ago, who stated that she was celibate until marriage, now is a single mother. well its not that ironic, i can count at least 3 women i have met who were running that racket and all have fell far short, far short. i know two that were/are FAR from "wife material"

i find it ironic, that i talk shit about people who stray from their own explicitly stated beliefs, when i, we, all do in some way shape or fashion.

its ironic that i am inspired/turned on/drawn to whats imperfect more so than what is perfect

and its ironic how i have so many thoughts but still have little to express

Choices

"Happiness is a choice". I read that on a church billboard this afternoon. Simple yet powerful. I should hold onto that a more often. i have changed in the last 4 years. i am more emotional than ever. meaning that i just can't fake it like i used to. and almost i can only take so much. gone are the days of holding everything in and trying to be emotionless. my eyes shoot daggers and so does my mouth sometimes. now i do feel ashamed and relieved at the same time. but i also feel the stress run through my veins as well. now things dont linger too long, but the amount of energy spent is still very much a problem.

maybe its a part of getting older that i cannot fight. maybe i am in the beginning phases of getting crotchety like my mom says.

Forehead Titaes

and i thought i was foolish

Love and Loathe

Love
1. the new longer days, a precursor to the night breeze of long summer nights
2. the new condo, i have wasted far too much time looking at plaster and tiles, with a punchdrunk smile on my face
3. the serenity and better sense of self worth, lol, i guess the "American Dream" is real. and i am not talking about Dusty Rhodes.
4. spring is around the corner
5. at times feeling like it all makes sense, well this is only one step of many (validation)
6. actually having something to talk about with those who with whom i have little in common

Loathe
1. the job is still a bitch
2. the longer commute
3. that i am hemorrhaging money, and have so many things to buy to get this place look like a home
4. the solitude, living on the other side of town now, there are almost no drop-in guests which further increases the "in-balance" of my life
5. that my favorite free porn site consortium now makes me register every 48 hours to look at their FREE porn. the catch is they send a password to my phone, which will cost me $9.99 per month as a premium text message. if you know me, i really hate paying my cell phone bill. i am that tacky person who will wait until days before my disconnection to pay this bill in particular. so anything that increases my bill is met with a lot of resistance.
6.

It Ain't What You Do, Its How You Do It

You are the reason, niggas be screaming bitches, hoes and tricks
Bahamadia
"True Honey Buns" 1996

Tighten up your shit. In the last year and a half you have progressively fallen deeper into ill repute and now your dumb ass is knocked up. Now, for a woman who was recently divorced, one would assume that you could handle yourself just a little better. You try to gas me with lies, then you start sleeping with my friend, whom you met through me. Now you are 4 months pregnant but you post club pics on a regular basis. I don't care if you are not showing, you should have kept you ass at home during CIAA. Have more respect for yourself. Maybe I said that too soon. I left out that you kept the door open for my man to hit again while you are pregnant.

FYI the friend in question is not the "baby daddy"

I remember a comedian said "your woman is your woman, but Hoes are for everybody"

You are real damn shameful.

Salute to NC's Finest II

John Coltrane

Thelonius Monk


I really wanted to put Dizzy Gillespie on this one, but he is from right across the border in Cheraw, SC

I dedicate this to all the memories I cannot shake

I must be getting old. Old faces, times and faces keep running past me. And everything nostalgic leaves me by the moment. but sometimes i close my eyes and wish for one more try

My fingers got a little dusty today

i promised myself to buy a new record player once i moved. well, i just moved and honored my promise. so it was only fitting that i did some light crate diggin. nothing major just a little more soul in the collection

Quentin Street Memories

So i just bought a townhome. I am still not settled in but i am working on it. So i traded in the westside for the eastside. its not quite a deluxe apartment in the sky but its all mine and i love it. but it is still a little bittersweet leaving my home for 2.5 years. the westside has a bad reputation, which i deserved in many respects but its big on character and characters.

i saw a group of brothas on horseback jaywalk and stop traffic both ways at 4pm during the week. and one of the guys was bold enough to talk shit with an unlit cigarette flapping between his lips with each syllable, looking like one of those loiterers outside the pool hall somewhere

i lived on a small street, there were only 4 houses on my side. of the five, my house was the only one that was crack or crackhead free. old grown rusty crackheads at that. now they did not cause trouble, other than illegally squatting in the house two doors down. and the fight between brother and sister in the front yard over some paltry amount of crack or money. i almost forgot about the lady banging onb the door one morning yelling for him to put the crackpipe down and open. i never found out why, but i can guess.

i saw a kid get knocked out MMA style at the bus stop, just two weeks ago. while stopped at the light, one kid jumped out a car and in a flurry of punches and a quick scoop, i saw feet fly in the air, then a little ground and pound. the aggressor jumped in the car and sped off. the attacked laying limp on the ground was out for maybe a whole 60 count. his friends who offered no help when he was getting attacked helped him up then supported him since his legs were jelly.

while getting take out for the Jamaican spot, we, my brother and I, saw a dude swipe a 24 pack of beer from the convenience store. he gets to the car and the getaway driver is 10 ft away talking to someone over a cigarette. before the driver can get to the car, the owner puts a gun to his head as he sits in the passenger seat and returns to work with this merchandise in tow.

i will surely miss those fine tellers and at BofA on Beaties Ford. They made me smile as I counted the pennies in my bank account every time I came past

i will miss that mean indian women at the local Subway. she was treacherous to everyone, employees and customers. one day, she this chick had words for her. She said one day somebody is going to shut up that mouth of yours. She left. i ordered. On my way back that same lady returned. I went to the car and both of them were alone. I did not turn around as i went to the car, it was not my business.

i will miss the cold winters and hot summers. good lawd, the temperature control in the house was non-existent. every room would vary in temp. by 8 degrees or so. i would sleep in different rooms according to seasons. my room was for fall, spring and summer since i upgraded those AC units, but the winters i slept in the living room or in the back rooms. it was brutal. how can you spend $150 a month in natural gas and still be cold.

i will ms Ms Barbara who was the block's CNN, nothing went down without passing through her ears

Inspiration II

Boyz N the Hood

I watched Boyz in the Hood again. Its been almost twenty years and I still find that movie very powerful. John Singleton was at the top of his game, giving plot and complexity to a coming of age stories set in South Central LA. Well developed black characters are still a rarity in modern media. Even look at Ricky and Doughboy's Mom. She was a single mom in South Central with issues no doubt, but she was still a well thought out and written character.

And Furious Styles, was black father of year 1991. From the knowledge the laid on the young brothers to that stirring speech on gentrification. He was strong, intelligent and compassionate just what a young black man needs.

Seeing this brings me to one of my favorite songs by Murs, take a listen

Inspiration

Sometimes thats all you really need

Its CIAA time, once again.

Those two stories will play themselves out thousands of times in the next few days. Its a year's worth of signifying condensed in five days. This is year five I think and its has lost much of its luster for me. I will lose no sleep when it finally leaves Charlotte someday. You heard it first for me. I have been to better parties for half the price and hype. I guess its fueled by the droves of Charlotteans who finally come out of hiding for maybe once out of the entire year. Let me restate that the "black professionals" that come out very seldomly. Many of which are sited enjoying Charlotte nightlife the way Big Foot was pictured in the Pacific Northwest.

Good for some, not for all

A Personal Favorite of Mine

i am just happy to see some "classy" photos of "urban" models. I have seen far too many "ass" shots in magazines over the years. some of these women are starting to look cartoonish, its like our answer to the "waif" model, 45" hips and the smallest waist conceivable. if you take time to appreciate, it will take more than the next
"donk" of the month to get your attention.

William Foster

William Foster was his name. If you can remember Michael Douglas looking like a mad substitute teacher on a rampage throughout the grimmiest parts of LA in Falling Down. Well, he almost made an appearance around 11:20 AM today. And i know just from how people start reacting to me. My eyes burned wholes through an aggravating curry-smelling woman today. She confirmed it with her soggy-ass half-hearted apology. but i kept him in check, but on the inside i really wished i was yielding his Louisville Slugger.

Success

a friend of mine, said that I was successful. actually, i(we= our friends in common, including myself) are successful. Me, successful, I don't quite see it that way. Most definitely it could be worse, but I always saw it as striving to do better. And I still do have a long way to go.

So i take the compliment, and i will turn back to my regularly scheduled program.

Or maybe, I should give myself a small pat on the back. I am workin on it.

oh yeah, the song and the blog have nothing to do with each other. Just another gen, i had to lay on you

I am....

.........watching Sparkle for the 3rd time in two days, its good to see black people acting to a plot.

.........planning some big thangs in 2010, for every valley there is hopefully a higher mountain on the other side. 2009, was an ugly bitch that I have put behind me. Onward to bigger and better things, one step at a time (Broken United FC, you definitely feel me)

.........multilayered and sometimes those layer clash against each other. Managing those opposing pieces is a daily tight rope balance. But i have been doing it well lately

.........still athletic, or at least kinda. I jumped some fences at the house the other day and i still got a little spring in me. Even at 225 lbs, don't doubt "the Kid"

.........not as enthusiastic or gullible like i used to be, but i am keener and more clever than ever. i still think that my brain is an untapped resource. My brother even called me articulate and stated i was a thinking man. The biggest ego stroke I have had in a long time. Thanks, I really needed that.

.........still young at heart, i hope that never changes

.........have smiled more in 2010, than I did in the last quarter of 2009

.........still soul searching, and finding new things every day

.........fighting temptation and its very close by

.........looking forward to a brand new reality that i am working toward

.........repeating myself, this is the same as the second bullet

.........signing off for the moment

Curry Is Not A Fragrance

I repeat, curry is not a fragrance. if you look past Polo, Kenneth Cole, Sean Jean, Dolce and Gabana in favor of that fresh curry scent, you are really fucking up. i There is no other way to say it. and it must be a unisex cologne too. maybe you will find it beside Calvin Klein's One at Perfumania.

And its bad when you just casually pass somebody in the aisle and one breath later you are suffocating. It sometimes jumps across the counter at me. And even worse, it lingers in the air and ambushes you when you walk into its smoke screen. but the worst i when it beams from one's breath. the long arm of curry breath is a force to be reconed with. i think i teared up once or twice due to it.

Ten to twenties times a week I am subjected to this. I try my best to avoid any extended conversations with any one who fits the description as a wearer of this cologne.

i understand that curry is a staple in the diet of some ethnic groups, but if i walked around smelling like freshly fried westside chicken, somebody would be blogging about me. that scent is hideous when out of place too.

so i repeat curry is not a fragrance.

i cant even eat curry anymore. no more jamaican curry goat. no indian restaurants or food, under no circumstances. i couldnt live with myself, if i became the nest harbinger of that wicked smell.

so when you decide to leave the house, check for your keys, wallet, ID, etc, but be sure to leave that damen curry alone. its one smell thats best not shared.

hmm, maybe i mispoke, i think that Vietnamese meal I had the other day had curry, but I didnt not smuggle it out of the restaruant.

i can't say it any better than Jimi himself, "i got my own world to live in and i aint gonna copy you!

Teddy Still Reigns

In tribute to Teddy, I wanted to share this song with you. But I then stumbled on this live performance and those sweaty bangs. Never did I know he had a perm, bob, looking like George Harrison when the Beatles invaded the US. And to think the started with the Blue Notes as a drummer. When Teddy is your drummer, just imagine how much overall talent you must have to pull that off, even for a mere day. On that note, music has plummeted tremendously

sorry, if you check the other day, i had the right words but the wrong video

I want a refund

I went to a wedding over the summer. No I was coerced into going to a wedding over the summer. I only go to weddings when it is mandatory. I just don't get into it. My girlfriend's sister got married in July in Virginia. Since she was going that way, i decided to make a vacation of it and we traveled to Philly, Delaware and Maryland since we were going to be up that way. We had a nice time for the first five days, but those two days of wedding and respective preparations were the worst. From being stood up at the wedding party dinner, due to slack communication and preparations, to wandering aimlessly through Georgetown after midnight on Thursday with the wedding party, to going to U Street with the most unenthusiastic man on the planet. I said man, not groom. He was a lively as a pet rock, out on the town with his boys. Then cap it off with a stale ass ceremony.

Well when your relationship is garbage and the bride and groom have actually been married (at the the Justice of Peace) upwards of six months before the ceremony, there is really nothing to celebrate. Furthermore, the couple doesn't have get along anyway. Their first clue is that they never appear to be happy in each other's prescence.

The first clue to knowing that marriage isnt a good idea. So i did my part bought a suit and shoes that may never be worn again. I forgot the shirt tie and socks too. I paid $139 for a room at the Embassy Suites, which is the same as any other hotel except for the big open atrium area. And did I mention its in Alexandria, Va. All my people live on the Maryland side, so in total they did me no favors. So i am sending a $500 invoice for my expenses and total waste of time.

Now i bet you ask why. because i just learned that he left her. not even six months after wasting all of our time. and six months after them arguing on their "wedding" night. we could have stayed at home and just seen the pictures. so as bad as it sounds, despite your pain and suffering for entering into a time bomb of a marriage, i still want my $600. I take cash, credit, money orders, or even barter. but i gottat have it. and furthermore, i will not waste another ounce of energy or money to attend another one of your functions. now, my lady can feel free to roll by herself, but i will choose otherwise.

Chance Encounter

Right after my first year in college, I went to Delaware with a good friend of mine. I stayed for a week and hung out with him and some family that stays in the area. Well we went to the King of Prussia mall, which is in suburban Philly. Its a high class mall, or at least it was to me in '99. My friend was looking for something to wear to this chick's prom in a few weeks. He was smelling himself so much that he went wearing a leisure suit, and topped it off with a Versace shirt. Well while we were checking out, Teddy Pendergrass and his wife come in. And surprisingly enough, I recognized him instantly. I wasnt into soul music quite as much as i am now. Although starstruck, i did mutter, "Hello Mr. Pendergrass," before leaving. Now as I walked by I saw that he had the hottest boots on ever. Yes, his boots were "kickin," like Eddie Murphy said in Golden Child. And it was ironic that someone confined to a wheelchair would wear such flambloyant boots, but I guess thats a day in the life of the "Velvet Teddy Bear."

You definitely will be missed. The world is just a little less sexy without you. This is the dude who had women only lock-in concerts. Never to be duplicated.

so i leave you with my favorite Teddy song. Love TKO, i have been on the wrong side of this one a few times, and it seemed like no one but Teddy knew what i was going through.

A Departure from the Norm

Not my usual style but......i have been watching my foreign films and ran across her again, Ms Ana Claudia Talancon

Message to Gilbert

This is for Sandy-Ass Gilbert. All this trouble for unloaded guns. Maybe you are a zero after all. Or just invest in a bodyguard, SUCKA!

oh yeah, Arena=sand in Spanish

I know the feeling

Larry Holmes is a legend in my mind. Not for almost eclipsing Rocky Marciano's boxing record. Moreso, for that dropkick off the limo you just saw. The back story is that Berbick was saying that Larry's girlfriend was a prostitute from Jacksonville. Well like Larry, one can only stand so much talk before they snap. Now I will control myself, but when i close my eyes I see a Marty Jannety dropkick right into someone's chest.

I had to steal this one

"Don’t be a stagnant motherfucker without a gotdamn plan."

it hits far too close to home.

Appreciation