Repressed Thoughts

A few things have been on my mind for a while. i wanted to compile them into individual blogs, but i didn't have the time nor the patience.

so i was out with friends for a birthday outing, mostly women, black, professional women. so needless to say, relationships became a topic. so i was forced to tell the unadulterated truth. i cant hold back to my sistas, but i failed at sugarcoating some time ago. so the conversation meandered about professional women and their woes at finding good men and/or men living up to their expectations. and of course all of these women are attractive with good jobs and great outlooks toward the future. yes, you already know where the convo goes. and what is evident is that women do not know about men, especially smart, professional, biological clock driven women.

1. black women, especially Southern black women have this fixation with religion. and a religious man is either top three on the list. ok, i will not disputes the merit of religion in life and/or relationships. a man is judged by his actions. lets face it, you require that your man do things, make things happen. and for a good man, that is our focus. we have to produce, to hold onto you. as women, you want things that we are to provide, finances, romance, support. we fix things, move things, come up with ideas and solutions. letting go and letting God, just isn't in our nature. you may want us to, but that's not enough, not saying that prayer or one's spirituality does not help the situation, but its quantifiable actions. therefore, you can't judge a mans spirituality the same way you do yours. its different, treat it as such.

2. men look for women, who "fit" into our plan. i, we, need someone who can roll with our punches. who will treat us like the king, we see ourselves as. if you are the professional jet setter, it takes a man of a certain caliber to be your king. now there are many good men out here but as you attain more status and income, your expectation directly increase. so if that trend persists, you are actually shrinking your pool of viable candidates by the second. that's the ugly truth. i do not know the solution. i wouldn't want you to lower your expectations.

3. get off the bullshit. in an infamous convo, it was uttered that a 5'9" not desirable to a certain single lady in her thirties who is only 5'2." and since she is single, i told her in the gentlest way you may have to come off that bs. it was uttered that, "i might have to lower my standards." wow!!! dating a man who is under six foot is the newest form of lowering standards. ladies get real and go after something real. the whole is greater than the sum of the parts, i hope you learn and react on that before its too late.

4. i kicked it with this chick for a while ending in January. i ran into her over the summer at a cookout. she pursued one of my best friends and they "kicked" it a few times. now my friend clued me in from the beginning. but i am still a little aghast about how she pursued him. i just expected a little more decency. then she had the nerve to text me with the proverbial was thinking about you......thats what i get for messing with a woman of ill repute

5. men and women are far from equal. we are very much different. we have different roles, different ways of doing things and different strengths. thinking that we are sounds nice and politically correct, but life ain't politically correct. when she gets pregnant and you are walking her little rat dog in the cold and rain late at night, you will know there is a distinct difference

6. i am in a relationship. its a lot of work. it tests you in unimaginable ways. maybe i was single for so much of my twenties because i couldn't handle it when i was younger. maybe i had to mature on my own so i could be where i am now

7. now that i am in a relationship, the urge to flirt is so much stronger. i really have to hold back. its strange how it works

8. i am tired of complaining. i need results

9. my hairline is slowly receding. my bank account has receded much faster. and a bald head is more work than a damn haircut