This is a FRQ PSA

if your ass is darker than a brown paper bag, you better not ever leave the house without applying ample amounts of lotion. i don't care if your color is due to extreme sunburn or a fluke recessive trait, there is no excuse.

so this goes out to you, with your ashy ass. i see you at work 2 or 3 times a week. i understand you live literally across the street. so you come in laid back in shorts and sandals, even when it is cold. i don't judge. but if you ashy ass corners me again and asks a thousand redundant questions, then repeats a third of them. i will promptly direct you towards the Lubriderm, Vaseline Intesive Care, Jergens, or the Vaseline is in 8 oz jar. if that does not work i will give you precise directions to the beauty supply store off Eastway where my man Muhammad and his brother Omar, will direct you to all of the Palmers and Queen Helene products they carry.

if those products don't work, i am sure i can find someone with some solidified bacon grease that you could work into those ashy ass pores of yours.

now i know you are Indian, Pakistani or another nationality from that area so you may see things a little different. but your calves look like they were battered at Hardee's this morning. and for that there is no excuse, irregardless of where you are from. ashy-ness has no place in public.