Stocks are falling, be on the lookout

if you watch the news you know we are in bad financial times. Lehman Bros. went bankrupt. Daily the pundits talk of massive bailouts of the largest mortgage lenders. Jobs are rolling back hours and everyone is getting bent over a hot hood at the gas station. but that is not what i'm really talking about. stocks fell down on college street last night in such a collosal way. so when you and your drunken professional friends go out on the town for a good night of drunken buffoonery. yes its buffononery when you and the wedding party show up downtown in tacky Fashion Mart suits.

but despite a night of ill advised drunken behavior. getting kicked out, talking reckless about the security staff who kicked you out. then the memorable statement that kicked the night off, "lets go, the stock is on the way down," hence the all was well, until a staggering buffoon inadvertently brushed a chic from another collection of the night's drunken monkeys. and just like mortimer when everyone starting selling those shares of frozen concentrated orange juice in Trading Places.


in just an instant google shares became Enron. the chick who was already geeked up. in some dude's face whether in jest or not. she says with a very animated finger in his face with disgust, "you touched my ass." and just like that company whose stock is the cornerstone of your 401k who didn't meet last quarter's numbers, stocks start to take a dip. the buffoon denied, sobering up little by little sensing this wasn't going too well. and then this olive skinned dude with dark hair had to defend her honor. a rhetorical question here a muffled response in reply. and then the shot that was heard around the block. the aggressor leveled the buffoon with a straight right. it was straight from UFC, he put his hips, ass, his all into it.


and the stocks plummeted. like pancake batter, splat!!!!!!!!!!. he took a concrete nap like Suge Knight a few months ago. buddy was seriously armed with mule kick in his punches. and to make matter worse his arm fell under his body inverted like a chicken wing. now a fight ensued. his buddy was also taken to the ground. the aggressors fled. yet the buffoon was still laid out. he slowly gathered himself. he tried to push himself up, which took about 20 seconds, like when you are stuck on the bench press. he got up with a little help, but he he had wobbly like a newborn deer. they then left to never be forgotten.